Abanose Blog

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Torture Fear

Sunset on Jalan Gatot Subroto

Tonight I shivered violently. What a terrible night. Everyone seems to have turned into a bad person. There are no good people. I looked at the people ready to pounce on me. Taking away myself and everything that is attached to me.

I tied and tighten the ties of my backpack. I’m walking at a very fast pace. The night was bright and the city street lights never went out. But I still speed up steps. Now my destination is the roadside stop. The most terrible place for me. I’ve never been afraid tonight. Usually I am so cool. As if there is nothing to be afraid of. For me there was no evil human before. But now my mind has changed.

I’m standing at the stop. Waiting for the bus. Fortunately this stop is quite bright. Unfortunately I keep shivering. My eyes are watchful. I looked left right. I observed which place was the most appropriate. Later, I would run away if there were criminals approaching. Several cars stopped a few meters away the place I stood up. I always thought they intended to rob or kidnap me. I want to cry. God, how fear this torments me.

The bus didn’t come. A handsome young man in an ash jacket crossed the road and stopped in front of me. Apparently he was also waiting for the same bus. He stood up while opening his wallet and took out a note of fifty thousand. I want to walk up and tell you that it’s not good to get out my wallet in a place like this. Thieves can come from anywhere. But I undo. The blue bus is approaching. We went up and I felt safe.

The street corners of the capital seemed to be chasing me. Ready to eat me. I became so scared since that incident. I became a human being suspicious. This is excruciating. So excruciating.

Jakarta, 30 August 2018

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